Yes, M3 TCU seems to be programmed for 3.15 FD, so could do the full driveline swap or at least change rear ends to something closer. I haven't verified DME controls the shifts single-handedly, but RPM ranges/hysteresis and gear torque calcs indicate it plays its part in what is allowable and when, if not dictates it wholly.
There are a lot of other things involved and not sure what all impacts it between DME/TCU, but the cars were drivable and everything working on M3 bits/coding, just crappy shifting on 2.56. If calculated torque/rev, input/output shaft speed ratios, etc. can be calculated to something in the middle through the gearing values, M3 flash might work on the 2.56 to shift "ok".
Only one way to find out though. Went I get back, may again start looking for an M3 EGS, drivelogic button/console and Kombi if its needed, get it installed/flashed and then screw around with DME until shifts work or I give up lol