@Rob09msport, thanks for the kind words. So on your question of M57 or N57. There are a bunch of factors, which I'll type up. When you are done running through it, I suspect you will arrive to a pretty clear answer which is best for you.
N57 535d / X5:
The N57 is a tour de force motor. In stock form pulls like a mofo, smooth, fires up in 5 degree whether with maybe a 200 millisecond glow plug wait (like you almost wouldn't know). The 535d is a tank, yet it gets 36mpg mixed. The N57 is available only in the 535d and X5. I am not an auto trans guy, but this motor in the USA is mated to the glorious ZF 8HP - a transmission so sweet (I can't imagine if it was further tuned), I could almost forego ever having a manual.
Wipe away any idea you have of what a diesel is. I have a powerstroke here, my wife had a TDi before and now a Mercedes Bluetec ... N57 is light years ahead.
The 535d drives horribly - you'd think it was a Cadillac, even with m-sport, so if you buy plan on doing H&R swaybars and AC Schnitzer springs (magic combo fixes the car, with no ride degradation, courtesy of feedback from Will Turner's shop). The X5 is much better, but some people feel they are kind of stiff. I had a '18 X5 35d for about six weeks last year when my fuel system blew up. That X5 was fantastic but with an $80k price tag new.
Tuning is limited on these cars in the USA - they are not common. I run an outboard
Racechip which works well. I know some guys tuning the cars that seem to be good (they drag, have a dyno, so steeped in reality).
The emission system on the N57 is said to be improved, remains to be seen if CBU cleaning (Carbon Buildup - think like N54) is necessary. My tuner buddy seems to say that dyno results show little improvement by deleting emissions parts. (see more on this below with the M57).
If you go buy an N57 535d you DO NOT BUY IT WITHOUT THE MULTI-CONTOUR SEATS. Period. Laugh all you want, everyone I know that has followed the advice laughs and says it is true. The 535d is a high-class ride. If you are looking for a more opulent car for daily driving (you live in it), this will be evident immediately when you get in. Prices are dropping like a stone from the $65-80k starting point of 535d and X5 35d. X5 diesels going for a bit more than the 535d, and likely holding value a bit more.
Compared to the M57 older gen cars (below), you can get lots of nice stuff in the newer cars - Xdrive (535d), HUD (it's fantastic), an improving iDrive (2017 or so onward actually is super, 2014-ish is good but not super), and other stuff like PDC, and all the lane avoidance crap which you might think is fairy but driving with the safety stuff, honestly, it should be in all cars (I digress).
M57 335d / X5d:
Diesel hotrodder's dream. It's a small community (compared to say, N54-wise) but a strong one. Aftermarket parts, tuners, et cetera. People squeeze stupid power out of these, with stock turbos. There are folks doing turbo changes, too but not too necessary in daily driver form as one can get a lot out of the stock setup (kind of like N54). These are relatively inexpensive vehicles - mint with 50k miles are around $18-20k (a bit more for X5) but less for higher mileage examples. IMHO weak link on the 3er is auto slushbox only ... it's not a ZF 8HP. People tune them ... I'm not an auto guy so maybe there is a comparison to the mainline N54 cars. 2011 was a one-year "m-sport" 335 with sport seats, etc. They can be found but are getting snatched up by the community.
Lots of folks do what they call an "ABC delete" - removing the emissions parts Diesel Particulate Filter (DPF ... think catalyst on gas engine), EGR, and Selective Catalytic Reduction (SCR - that's the DEF fluid thingie). Gas mileage goes up, power goes up, and so does reliability. EGR is a contributing culprit to fouling up the intake runners/valves (think N54), so CBU cleaning comes with these cars.
The Facebook north american diesel group is full of M57 guys. Just a few of us N57 guys are there. It's an odd bunch - I'd say a cross between BMW airhead guys and ... well ... I dunno. Lots of young guys playing with these cars, though. They are scary fast and torque is a plenty. If you like the E90 platform and are willing to run its automatic, the 335 is a cool ride - buy a stock one and blow people off the road with a handful of drivetrain mods.
X5 diesels in general:
People tow with these. Want to drag your N54 to the track with an aluminum open trailer? No problem. Given short wheelbase people report these to nonetheless be pretty stable in transit.
Issues and other things of note:
We only run tier one fuels (like we would on modified N54s) since diesel in the USA has questionable rep. I gas at Shell and Exxon pretty much. Also it is said to gas where diesel is frequently consumed so it doesn't sit in the tanks long and collect water. Water is the diesel devil.
Both motors are built like King Kong. The emissions parts ... those are the problem, mostly. The N57 is supposedly a better design. My N57 had a catastrophic HPFP failure. Supposedly not common, but known to happen - $14k complete fuel system replacement by BMW under warranty. I don't expect this to happen twice ... who knows what happened ... like someone pumped a few gallons of gas in the tank before I took ownership of the car.
The cars are not common so being a sharp BMW guy helps as you won't find lots of places that have a clue. Good news is there is not a lot you need specialized knowledge for, in the sense that the motors are pretty reliable and a lot of information crosses over diesel-wise. But you are in a small club - N57 has yet to see the kind of support the M57 does and I sadly suspect it never will mostly because the 3 series (the platform of modding choice) does not have it.
I bought the 535d because I've always been a 5er guy - E28 M5, E34, E39, (hated E60, skipped), and now F10. All were modded to my driving taste. I want something comfortable, that I can pull a long commute if needed, etc. I've owned several 3 series and that's not been the thing for me, though the cars get bigger and bigger so an E90 could be just fine maybe.
Hope this helps - lots of info, not exhaustive though. I've attached a few photos of my rig, which is obviously not stock.
Filippo